Fatherhood

Fatherhood. More advocacy for fatherhood is out there than ever before. More and more fathers are engaged in the lives of their children. Does a kid really need his/her dad?

Growing up, I was somewhat of a “daddy’s girl”. Everyone always told me I looked more like my dad than my mom, so I always felt we had a special connection. Things changed however, when my parents got divorced and my dad remarried very quickly. I don’t think our relationship has ever been the same since then. While my dad was married to his second wife, I felt that he neglected my siblings and me in some ways, especially me. He disappointed me so many times that I learned to not completely trust his word. I love my father- he is a good man. But he could have done a lot of things differently.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World (paragraph 7) states: “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.”

So what are the things that a father can do to raise secure, well-adjusted children? The textbook Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives gives some “key principles and practices in fathering”:

1)      “To preside

2)      “To partner

3)      “To be present

4)      “To provide

5)      “To protect (Brotherson, 2012)”

Furthermore, the textbook explains (all of this information is found in Chapter 13: “’Honor Thy Father’”: Key Principles and Practices in Fathering”) that “fathers have the ability, for good or ill, to exercise great power and influence in the lives of their children and families” (Brotherson, 2012).

Fatherhood is more than significant- it is essential to the well-being of children.

I asked my husband Brian what his thoughts on fatherhood are. I specifically asked him what he believes fathers need to do in order to raise healthy, happy children. These were some of his thoughts:

•  Because of a father’s leadership role, he needs to support his children and give them praise and one-on-one time (to validate their self-worth)
• A father needs to go out of his way to notice the skills and gifts of his children
•  He needs to mentor his children; PRAISE/COMPLIMENTS are most important
• Be interested in what his children do
• A father should be a spiritual example- words are nothing without actions (SHOWING love); it takes more than actions outside the home- these actions need to be done in the home, to the children